What am I waiting for?

Last night, as I was lying in bed, I began to think. (I know, I know, me? thinking? doesn't happen that often...nevertheless, I did.) I began to think about all the things I wish I would do in life. "Like what?" you ask. Well, I'm glad you did.

There are things in life I wish I did regularly. Things that I would love to say were are part of my "routine." For one, I wish I read alot. I have hundreds upon hundreds of books on everything from spiritual matters to classic novels to your general "Everything You Need To Know..." do-it-yourself books. I wish I exercised more. Wait...what am I saying...let me rephrase...I wish I exercised. I don't know anyone who could refute the benefit of exercise. I wish I journaled more. I wish I spent more time doing more creative things. I would love to spend more time away from the "All-Consuming Drainer of Brain-Cells"--the television.

However, I find myself knowing these things and yet, never placing them into practice. Instead I find myself bewildered, just as Paul did when speaking with the early Roman Church, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (7:14) I know what I would like to do...in my head, but there is a large jump from my head to actually fleshing out these feelings. And because I know this, it makes it that much worse. I always hear people say, "You have to keep doing it enough until it becomes a habit." Well, I reject that thought.

Last night, as I was thinking, this, too, crossed my mind. The things I desire, I don't want to become habits. I want them to be disciplines. There is a world of difference between a habit and a discipline, coming from someone with a world of habits. Habits are useless. Habits are for the weak. Habits are something we pick up without even realizing it. They are the athlete's foot when it comes to our actions. Habits are easy, quick, and realitively easy to acquire. Disciplines are whole different ballgame. Booker T. Washington is quoted as saying "Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work." Disciplines are what results in hard work and persistance. It is something that onced earned, is appreciated. They enhance one's way of life.

Through persistance, a discipline is obtained. By your disciplines, an individual is defined. Your human definition gives purpose. With purpose ignited passion. And with passion, one truly lives.

Fortunately for us, Paul does not stop with Chapter 7--with this struggle we all face, but he escorts us into God's saving grace in Chapter 8. The very first verse declares, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Jesus Christ." Though we are weak, though we are frail, we have been set free. We have been made powerful through His righteousness. We have been given the courage to overcome "habits" and been given the strength to establish disciplines. We have been given the freedom to LIVE LIFE and ENJOY it abundantly. It may not be easy. But it will be worth it.

What are you waiting for?... What am I waiting for?... I think I'll go read.